The Privilege of Testing
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)
This year, God challenged me with the idea that if last year was a year of abundance and ignorant bliss, this year was going to be one of testing and trial.
The idea of being tested felt heavy, burdensome. Like it was the real deal.
And if for some reason, if I did not ace the test.. that I would have failed Him and myself in some way.
And though Grace abounds in every circumstance, I felt as though the days of playful banter and practice rounds were over.
New Years was the day I boldly committed to the Father, “I will take this test and I will take it well.”
Bring it on.
And might I say, I’ve utterly failed the test many times over since that day.
And yet something I have been reflecting on as of late is how acing this so-called test will most likely take an entire eternity to achieve.
So isn’t it the process of digging deeper, challenging my mind, renewing it consistently, and maturing with Christ that is the greatest reward in His perspective?
And today, as I reflect on the verse above, I am reminded that it is but a necessary privilege to be tested by the Lord -
That by testing, we are able to discern what is for us and what isn’t
And that it is after the transformation through the renewal of our mind that we are pruned and ready to be tested.
And it is through testing and testing again, that God so proudly chooses the best of the best of His candidates to send out into the forefronts of life.
To experience fullness and wholeness in Christ.
And to represent Him well.
To fight with wisdom and grace and discernment and love
In a world that constantly throws us trials and tribulations and temptations
It is with the backing of a Father who never fails us
That we can take this test with ease
With the A+ being the cross,
A safety net that will never break under the weight of whatever burden we come to Him with
And maybe that’s why He told us that His yoke is easy and His burden is light
Because the weight was never ours to carry in the first place
And maybe.. just maybe
He will love me endlessly no matter how many times I try,
Whether I pass or I fail,
Because of a loving Savior who took it upon himself to endure the hardest of all tests
So that I never have to experience the anguish of what it means to fail
And that the answer to this test was never about being a good daughter,
But about finishing the race of faith till the very end.
And that my score does not depend on how many good decisions I made,
But on how well I loved and adored Him who loved and adored me first
Oh, what good news
And a privilege to be tested by the Lord
And what a thing to look forward to,
To be a daughter that can discern what is good and acceptable and perfect
So that I can experience the fullness of Him for all of my days.
