A Life Worth Fighting For
People often look at me and tell me how confident I seem.
I am driven, ambitious.
An entrepreneur, sure of what I want & reaping what I’ve worked my whole life for.
A go-getter, patient with my process but never taking no for an answer.
I am an overcomer. Never sitting in the lows too long, but always standing back up in order to tread on forward.
And because this is how I’ve presented myself, how people have seen me all along, I thought that this was the core of who I am.
Strangely enough, I recently took a real close look at my life and all of the areas that I hold dear, and realized…
I feel fragile.
This last year, I re-evaluated my view on success and realized that life achievements really mean nothing without God being the sole purpose behind all of it. The world’s standard of success is already so fragile. So when a loving Dad comes to me and asks me, “hey Honey, can you do great things with Me?”, the calling just seems so big, so vast, so majestic. Yet my heart becomes so tender in response, with deep desire to steward His callings with such delicate & careful obedience. The fragility comes from knowing how much is required of me when God invites me into a journey such as this, and learning to trust myself to be able to do it in a way that is pleasing to Him.
This last year, I invited community into my life - something I haven’t done in many years. Opening up to people is such a delicate journey. Unraveling people’s traumas, learning their stories & attaching deeply to who they are and how God created them. Learning to re-purpose my time, my energy to walk daily with them. Something I know I lack in, but want to continue to learn how to do better. Yet relationships are fragile, and seasons are constantly changing. And the desire to protect this area of my life, to see redemption in my relationships & to invite God into the way I give more space in my heart to the people around me, is something that is new but a beautiful thing.
In all other areas of my life - my family, dating, faith, character formation, & all things in between, there has been such a revelation of how I hold these things so dearly, and an equal revelation of how navigating all of these areas require such intentionality and intimacy with the Father to ask of Him what His perspective is on all things. And daily, I surrender my life to ask of Him, “would I not stray away, but would I walk this walk of faith with humility and dedication.”
All to say, this feeling of fragility is not one of weakness, but one that compels me to have complete & utter dependence on Him. Puts life into perspective when you know that you really can’t do much without God in the picture. And with this, comes the realization that this life of obedience comes with a price - one of many sacrifices and a daily choice to be a daughter that yields. But no other life looks better, more appealing than this. I want to protect my love for Him at all costs, to be a child again in this way. It is a delicate, but beautiful journey that is so worth fighting for.
A life with You, God, is worth fighting for.
