The Weight of His Calling

Currently in a season of being so intentional about what kinds of things God is asking me to pour my energy into.
This is simply because of the inevitable harsh truth that as we adult, our capacity for certain things grow narrower as life responsibilities grow heavier. 

The things He is asking of me - 

The intentionality of really leaning in & asking what’s on His heart. 

The obedience of being ready to put whatever that is first, before my own plans. 

The work ethic of choosing a wiser schedule & taking care of my temple.

The willingness of doing more than what the average person is willing to do. 

The discernment of who and in what season to give to & receive from. 

I have this deep, burning desire to hold His calling with such delicate care, with the knowledge that though salvation is available to all, trust and responsibility is not. I want to be a daughter who prays “mold me to be more like You”, and when the furnace comes, to come out of it with a beautiful and unbreakable confidence that I can now present to the Lord at His feet, & be able to say, “Can you trust me now?”

Let me be clear. 

This is not out of a meek desire to perform or achieve or prove, but out of a great desire to offer my God a humble and brittle “Yes”. 

One I know is but a feeble one, and not always the most qualified.

But one that I know he will joyfully rejoice in, and will one day reward.

Lately I have felt quite the heaviness of His dreams for me. 
Yet the heaviness is not one that causes a feeling of burden, but one of some sort of grandness and majesty.
A feeling that reminds me I am capable of holding even the weight of the world on my shoulders, if only Jesus is there with me.
And it is this heaviness that I carry with such intentionality, out of such adoration for His calling on my life.
And He has blessed me much too greatly for me to ignore His purpose of what He wants me to do with it.

So it is my complete joy to commit to this desire to fulfill Your calling to the fullest extent, Lord.
Would you teach me how to steward well. with wisdom and honesty, to be a daughter that makes You proud and brings You glory,
even when it falls short of what You truly deserve,
and to be a daughter that lives a life that screams, “I’ve successfully learned how to be a good partner, a good co-laborer with Jesus!”
It is my honor to make the sacrifices necessary to hone in on a life of focused energy, for the furthering of Your good, good plans for me.